my sister just tagged someone in this and her grandma commented
(via hardmelons)
*on my deathbed*
nurse: do you have any last words
me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….
*the light goes out of my eyes*
*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*
*the paper says one word only*
“sike”
(via hardmelons)
So some punks were posting shit about her arm hair and Marina replied. Oh my god, I adore her. She’s so fantastic, I swear to god.
hairy arms united in follicular solidarity
Hip-Hip! Hairy arms unite! :-)
is she doing troll cosplay whats going on
(via thesassylorax)
Dear Yahoo,
If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages.
If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk.
Regards
Tumblr Users
(via tea-and-tumblr)
Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?
the prof asks the important questions.
Wait, spouse rhymes with house? I always pronounced it ‘spooze’ in my head /o\ WHY IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO WEIRD!!!
Because English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.
(via thesassylorax)
My boyfriend just watched the Avengers, this is what he had to say:
| Him: | first, iron man 3 now makes much more sense with some references as such |
| Him: | second WHY IS LOKI ODDLY ATTRACTIVE |
i hate getting attached to people bc i literally never stop thinking about them
(via neverswagged)
if you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying hey wanna see what i made
(via neverswagged)
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
Love,
Drew
(via neverswagged)
I thought I should share some things I’ve collected
this is what yahoo spent 1.1 million on
yahoo are you sure you’re okay
(via homesick09)
Excuse me while i die of laughter
This gif is my life
(Source: finnharries, via homesick09)
The kiwi Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs
I am 300% done with you guys.
(Source: smangtheterrible, via homesick09)
I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that
- I can see them
- I can hear them singing You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray
- they are really bad singers and
- I can probably get a YouTube-worthy video of them from my current position
gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING TO MURDER HERE” AND THEY SCREAMED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY AND ONE FELL OVER AND STARTED CRYING
(Source: thordoftherings, via thesassylorax)
